Dan Jones shared 5 days ago
PetSmart Introduces Heart-Shaped Puppy For Valentine’s Day https://theonion.com/petsmart-introduces-heart-shaped-puppy-for-valentine-s-1822980373/
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PetSmart Introduces Heart-Shaped Puppy For Valentine’s Day
Dan Jones shared 5 days agoThe Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Nicki Minaj https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-nicki-minaj/
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What do you and Trump talk about? The struggle of finding a good makeup artist after alienating the LGBTQ+ community.
Dan Jones shared 5 days ago
Strange flying babies shooting people with arrows is no basis for a system of romance.
Today I learned, from @[email protected], that scholars have identified the original Tower of Babel.
The Mesopotamian ziggurat Etemenanki is the likely inspiration for the story in Genesis.
Fully constructed, it likely stood about 66 meters tall, or the equivalent of about 20 stories in a modern building, about one fifth the size of the Empire State Building.
If Deadpool had been in the Donner Party, they could've just hacked him up to eat pieces of him, which would just regrow anyways.
I really need to rest after sitting at a desk and staring at a monitor all day. Why don't I sit on the couch and stare at my phone for a couple hours?
Dan Jones shared 7 days ago
Lol. The RFK stans came out today.
I’ll be as polite as I can here:
RFK could choke on a fucking pinecone and I would piss on his headstone every time I was in town.
I watched people die of vaccine preventable disease in ‘21-22. I hospitalized flu patients this fall who didn’t vaccinate. I’ve listened to people cling to false hope that avoiding seed oils will cure their cancer.
RFK is an evil shitbag grifter. Every death from his nonsense rests on him. Fuck the guy with a hedge trimmer.
Dan Jones shared 8 days ago
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the deep desire to be creative vs the inherent need to recover my energy from surviving reality
Dan Jones shared 8 days ago
✍️ New blog post: Single-use Tests
Not all automated tests should be committed. My test served its purpose and will forever be in my heart, but not in my repository.
tl;dr; How I used `php artisan route:list` to write a single-use test for a refactor.
Dan Jones shared 9 days ago
I'm back on the job hunt! If anybody's looking for a remote (Seattle) senior software engineer with a decade of experience in media processing, networking, security, and low-level native development, hit me up. #GetFediHired
Dan Jones shared 10 days ago
Fact checking the Bad Bunny halftime show:
1. Yes that couple really did get married. They are a real life couple who begged Bad Bunny to come to their wedding and instead he invited them to come get married at and during his show.
2. No Bad Bunny did not perform in a dress, pearl necklace and high heels. You're just transphobic and fell for AI generated slop. Would have been totally fine if he did though.
3. Yes the show was primarily sung in Spanish, with the exception of the phrase "God bless America", a few "uh huhs" and "okays" and the entirety of Lady Gaga's portion.
4. No Bad Bunny is not an immigrant. You're just racist. Puerto Rico has been part of America since the Spanish American War in 1886. Would have been totally fine if he was though.
5. Yes you did see Pedro Pascal, Cardi B, Jessica Alba, and many other celebs and sports stars making cameo appearances as extras. And yes that was Ricky Martin and Lady Gaga performing.
6. No Bad Bunny was not making a political statement about ICE by giving his Grammy away to a little Latino boy. You're being weird. Stop being weird. That little boy was pretty explicitly supposed to represent himself as a kid, watching himself on the TV and dreaming big.
7. Yes Bad Bunny did actually perform the most watched halftime show in history, with over 136 million viewers. And no, the Kid Rock Epstein Extravaganza didn't even register as a blip on the radar, with (generously) 4.5 million YouTube streams.
8. Yes the jumbotron behind him at one point was changed to read "The only thing greater than hate is love" and if you're offended by that then yes that is actually a personal attack on you.
Dan Jones shared 10 days ago
Getting a gold in curling is slang for bleaching your pubic hair.
Dan Jones shared 10 days ago
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How to say "Fuck around and find out" with some goddamn class You may test that assumption at your convenience ~Captain Picard facing off with some Klingons
Dan Jones shared 11 days ago
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Super Bowl, baby! We see a packed football arena. Golden age Tootsie Roll ad featuring a…mouse or some kind of animal about to catch a Tootsie Roll in the end zone for a touchdown as he recites us a little poem: “ to win the game is fun and dandy/ When you score the winning goal/ To always score a win in candy/ Buy yourself a TOOTSIE ROLL.” below the word balloon is apparently the next stanza: “A chocolaty treat/ that can’t be beaten/ Because the FUN…/ IS IN THE EATIN’”
Dan Jones shared 11 days ago
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Star Trek Enterprise scene. We're on ship and looking at Malcolm Reed in uniform, sitting, expounding, and probably eating pineapple held just off camera. Closed caption reads, "I'm afraid I don't much follow football, sir."
Dan Jones shared 11 days ago
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Star Trek Voyager scene. We've got Tuvok standing next to Seven of Nine (Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01). She's looking and him, and he's doing a smouldering, eyebrow popping look off into the distance thing. Closed caption reads, "I share your discomfort with social gatherings."
Dan Jones shared 11 days ago
The Guardian: here’s how Substack makes money hosting Nazi newsletters. These newsletters weren’t even hard to find or subtle: swastikas and in-app recommendations from one antisemitic newsletter to a bunch of others. https://www.theguardian.com/media/2026/feb/07/revealed-how-substack-makes-money-from-hosting-nazi-newsletters
Dan Jones shared 11 days ago
Dan Jones shared 11 days ago
Yes we are all normal here in HUMANSVILLE. We are all HUMANS of course. No need to check.
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A screenshot of a map showing Humansville, Missouri, USA
Dan Jones shared 12 days ago
My favorite recent snarky slogan.
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Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.