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Dan Jones
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In the word "queue", only the first letter is pronounced. The other four are silent (quietly waiting their turn).

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Dan Jones
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Pope Leo has a mathematics degree from Villanova. He not only understands sin, he also understands cos.

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Dan Jones
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My kid, coming out to me: Dad, I'm gay.

Me: Hi, gay, I'm Dad.

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At the arrivals area of an airport. A few people are milling about in the background. Some cars are seen outside through the glass doors, ready to pick up passengers. In the foreground is a man in his 30s, holding a sign with the name of the person he's waiting for. The sign reads, "Godot"
Caption

At the arrivals area of an airport. A few people are milling about in the background. Some cars are seen outside through the glass doors, ready to pick up passengers. In the foreground is a man in his 30s, holding a sign with the name of the person he's waiting for. The sign reads, "Godot"

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Dan Jones
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Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

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Don't throw sodium chloride at people. That's a salt.

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This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

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Whom does Beyoncé call when she needs her roof repaired?

All the shingle ladies.

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Why couldn't the pony song a song?

Because he was a little hoarse.

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A single friend of mine asked me what it's like to be married.

I told him, on one hand, you get to wear a cool ring. On the other hand, you don't.

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This courtesy of my 14-year-old daughter.

Why couldn't the thieves get away from the art museum heist?

They didn't have enough gas to make the Van Gogh.

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What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

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Most men, if you ask them what their favorite historical empire is, will tell you the Roman. But J.D. Vance's is the Ottoman.

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Dan Jones
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A dung beetle walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, is this stool taken?"

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If you see someone stealing AirPods, that makes you an iWitness.

This from my 12-year-old daughter.