Imagine enlisting in the Army to protect and serve and then being ordered to march in a parade to celebrate the birthday of a tyrant actively working to oppress and subjugate others.

I have this massive BASH script that I use for transcoding video files that I download before adding them to my Jellyfin library (don't ask me for it, it's a giant mess).

I recently wanted to make a change to it that required sorting some data according to some specific rules (like moving English subtitles first, but only if they're text-based like srt and not image-based like DVD subs).

It was too complicated for BASH. So, I did what anybody reasonable psychopath would do: I embedded a Python script into my BASH script.

No, I didn't rewrite the whole thing in Python, but I do have an entire Python script in the middle of my BASH script now. My BASH script pipes the Python code into the Python interpreter, and captures JSON output from it.

It's a terrible abomination, but, I might do it again.

Los Angeles, right now.

Sailor Moon and other Sailor Scouts. Several police officers are attacking them, and beating them with billy clubs. Sailor Moon says, "No way! No way! Why are these police officers attacking us? What's wrong with our government hiring people like this?!"
Caption

Sailor Moon and other Sailor Scouts. Several police officers are attacking them, and beating them with billy clubs. Sailor Moon says, "No way! No way! Why are these police officers attacking us? What's wrong with our government hiring people like this?!"

US politics, double entendre, puns

When they're rioting, you can do anything. They let you. Grab them by the posse comitatus.

  • Trump, discussing deploying troops on American soil, probably

My son just asked me, "Daddy, what does Scroll Lock do?" (referring to the key on the keyboard).

I responded, "Son, I am 43 years old, I'm a software developer, and have been using computers my entire life, and I have no idea what Scroll Lock does."

My 8-year-old runs up to me today with his tablet, showing a QR code on it. He was excited and said, "Daddy, I made a QR code. Why don't you scan it?"

The decoded text was:

Hay daddy I love you 💕💕💕

Screenshot from QR code app. QR code is displayed at the bottom. A search button in the middle, and the decoded text at the top, which reads, "Hay daddy I love you 💕💕💕"
Caption

Screenshot from QR code app. QR code is displayed at the bottom. A search button in the middle, and the decoded text at the top, which reads, "Hay daddy I love you 💕💕💕"

Dan Jones shared 6 months ago

If you would like to protest Trump's unconstitutional seizure of power, consider finding a No King's protest near you this Saturday. Instead of the news focusing on his military parade on his birthday, nationwide protests will help steal his thunder and hopefully bring the focus back to the people, instead of this would-be monarch.

No Kings No Kings
Two, nervous, Spanish-speaking dinosaurs are having a conversation. 1: "¿Cómo se dice 'ojos' en Inglés?" 2: "Eyes." 1: "¡No! Ice es hielo." 2: "¡No, yellow es amarillo!" 1: "Ahhh."
Caption

Two, nervous, Spanish-speaking dinosaurs are having a conversation. 1: "¿Cómo se dice 'ojos' en Inglés?" 2: "Eyes." 1: "¡No! Ice es hielo." 2: "¡No, yellow es amarillo!" 1: "Ahhh."

Jesus Christ, preaching during the Sermon on the Mount, says, "Love everyone. No matter what." A follower asks, "What if they are gay?" Christ responds, "Yes, even if they ask stupid questions."
Caption

Jesus Christ, preaching during the Sermon on the Mount, says, "Love everyone. No matter what." A follower asks, "What if they are gay?" Christ responds, "Yes, even if they ask stupid questions."

The Klingon, Korax, from Star Trek: The Original Series, is in a bar. The barkeep is out of focus in the background behind him. Korax faces the viewer and says, "I didn't mean to say that the Cybertruck should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away *as* garbage!"
Caption

The Klingon, Korax, from Star Trek: The Original Series, is in a bar. The barkeep is out of focus in the background behind him. Korax faces the viewer and says, "I didn't mean to say that the Cybertruck should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away *as* garbage!"

Dan Jones shared 6 months ago
Dan Jones shared 6 months ago
Dan Jones shared 6 months ago
Dan Jones shared 6 months ago

I recently got a smart watch (at the recommendation of my cardiologist). The default watch face was awful, so the first thing I did was change it.

The Play Store had a Pride category up front, and the very first watch face I saw was perfect.

Screenshot of watch face. Along the top it reads "Star Trek". Along the bottom, "Steps: 656". The time is 12:00, in a slanted block font. Taking up most of the right side is the Star Trek logo (the Starfleet badge) in rainbow colors. Around the outside is a rainbow circle.
Caption

Screenshot of watch face. Along the top it reads "Star Trek". Along the bottom, "Steps: 656". The time is 12:00, in a slanted block font. Taking up most of the right side is the Star Trek logo (the Starfleet badge) in rainbow colors. Around the outside is a rainbow circle.

I wish I could afford a mid-life crisis. I'm definitely due for one.

My five-year-old daughter: "If they don't have a beard, they're not a real dad."

But, by dad, she meant man. She refers to all adult men as dads, and all adult women as moms.

So, my five-year-old, through no instruction on our part, has concluded that without facial hair, you can't be a real man.

By the way, we did, of course, correct her misunderstanding.

Summer time means that I have to kick my kids off Netflix from time to time because we only have a two-screen maximum account, and I want to use it.

Dan Jones shared 6 months ago